LIfe

What is this? Where am I, and what is going on? No one ever seems to know what their life holds for them. Its like running in a bog. Slowly you start to submerge yourself into it bit by bit, and before you know it, Bang you're under water. To be completely honest, I don't have the answers. In fact, I don't have any answers to anything. I just do as I'm (usually) expected to do, and hopefully it turns out for the best. People get so frustrated at my life style, but can I blame them? No, not really, but hey that's just me. Usually when I'm down, I write a story, or some sort of cheesy thing of the sort. A speculation as to why I'm not, simply because I don't have the time nor the stamina. Well it's more than that actually, I don't have the will power, I don't have the creativity that is required to create such things. No stories, no art, no nothing. This is my mundane life. After all "all work and no play makes a dull man."

Being Different

While thinking this weekend, the thought came into mind; what makes a person normal? Is it the clothes we wear, the way we talk or act, the music we listen to, or our style? Then it dawned on me "normal" is just another way of saying "Congrats you fit into our society of all black and white." Normality is a restriction on all things considered ethical in our little societies of right and wrong. Just look at all the great artists past and present; Vincent Van Goh, people hated his art at the time because it was out of the norm, but now look how priceless his art work really is! Even the more modern; Johnny Depp, people consider the man crazy, and yet he is a acting genius! Observe the past the people who's names went down into history are the ones people considered crazy because they where not normal!! So I'm starting a crusade against normality, I'm tired of living normal, and acting normal. I'm going to stop and observe the world when everyone else is to busy, I'm going to step out of subject in a conversation, I'm going to be who I want to be.

Why I Hate the Word "Sorry"

"Can you tell me something? Be completely honest, okay?" I tried to keep my tone even as my heart raced in my chest. "Do you still love me?" Deep in my heart I knew the answer already. things just haven't been the same between us recently. It was as if a huge glass wall blocked me from him. I could witness the emotions changing, but I on the opposite side of the ever-growing glass could do absolutely nothing. There was a long pause; his answer came in a slow, sluggish response. "I..I'm to mixed up right now....I can't tell." Translation; no. "I'm sorry" this was his typical response. by this time I now loathed the word 'sorry' especially when it came from him. They're so warm and trustworthy so you let them in, but they soon enough turn into cold, glistening knives once they are close to your heart. I could even now feel the latest one sinking into me. I wanted so badly to trust it, to open myself up to its warm glow, but I knew better. I decided to take the less fatal blow, I ignored it. All the years practiced to hold back my most bitter tears now payed off. "Wait till later" I told myself. Now I could only wonder why. There are other guys, ones that wouldn't tear my heart into shreds, or make it beat so thunderously. So why do I keep coming back to him? Why is it that I always see his face when I'm falling a sleep? Don't I deserve better? I hurt from the pain he has inflicted on me, and I suffer because he doesn't love me. Pathetic! I wish I could just erase myself, be an illusion to everyone. No agony, no questions, no love, no hate, and no confusion.

Pet Peeve #7

That bad things usually happen to good people, the ones who don't deserve it. They are so kind, humble, happy and yet horrid things happen to them. And the people who do deserve the trials don't have such bad things happen to them!

Pet peeve #6

When people wine about how "fat" they are because they only fit into a size 0 instead of a 1, and say "How can you like me I'm so fat!"
Here's some advice, suck it up and go on with life! There are a lot more important things in life, than how much you weigh!!

My Own Romeo

It is true that the forbidden love is the most lusted for, I would know. I knew having him was to good to be true—for things like this always are--. There just had to be some catch, and of course, there was. I long for him to be with me, yet I find myself so far away. They try in harsh attempts to keep us apart, to keep me from his arms, but their attempts are in vain. Nothing can contain love. The power that surged to take us apart only made my love, and want for him grow stronger. I find myself thinking of him more and more, making my want my dominant emotion. I imagine him in my mind, his short flaming hair and shining eyes. I let my mind trace over and over the features of his face in my mind. Everything from the scattered freckles, to the smallest curve in his smile. I want to stand besides him, to feel the curve of his arms, to feel the warmth of his lips. It must be a sickness to think of another so often and so fondly. However instead of curing it, I let it rage and rack my entire being. It wipes out all of my common scene and replaces it with burning desire. Why must I suffer so? It is because I want, but cannot have fully, he whom I desire.

*All stories are property of Castro. It is illegal to copy this story without permission from the author.

My Truth

Your sorrow is my sorrow,
It hurts me every time.
Scolding, harsh, unloving,
I stand beside you, an invisible ghost.
I long for your arms,
but they belong to another.
Holding you up I bend,
break,
shatter.
Overwhelming pressure
I can't stand beside you without hurting
and yet,
I need to,
because if you stand tall, I stand tall,
but if you fall, so do I.